Consent, limits and safeword
This page explains the words the generator uses when it asks about consent, limits and stopping. The most important thing is that you talk to each other.
1. Consent
Consent means saying yes to something, voluntarily, sober and understanding what it covers. You can take a yes back at any time, including in the middle of a situation. A contract cannot take that right away. Read more under Symbolic agreement.
The form asks whether consent can be withdrawn, and the answer is yes by default. If you choose no, or remove the right to end the agreement, the contract states, in the clause on the status of the agreement, that the agreement is symbolic and that under the law consent can always be withdrawn. The form also shows a short line that consent cannot be withdrawn.
2. Limits
Hard limitA hard limit is something you never want to do.
Soft limitA soft limit is something you only want to do after discussion and with care.
Each of you has your own limits. The Dominant enters the answers in the checklist after you have talked together. In the checklist the Dominant answers yes, maybe or no for each item, and the Submissive accepts the answers by signing the contract. If you disagree, you create a new contract.
Items that can cause serious injury are marked "High risk". Items that can have consequences outside the agreement are marked "Legal note". The explanations are collected on the "Caveats" page before the review. The marking is not a recommendation to do something, and not a complete overview.
3. Safeword and traffic lights
A safeword is a word that stops or slows a scene immediately, regardless of what else you have agreed. Traffic lights are a common variant: "green" means continue, "yellow" means slow down or check in, "red" means stop immediately. You can also choose your own words.
The site suggests by default that use of a safeword is never punished. You can choose not to use a safeword. Then the agreement and the check-ins must hold.
4. Check-ins and aftercare
A check-in is a short conversation or message to see how things are going. Aftercare is care after a scene, in which you look after each other and talk about how it was. The form has fields where you write down what each of you needs.
5. SSC and RACK
SSC stands for Safe, Sane and Consensual. The idea is that what you do should be as safe as possible, that both of you are clear-headed, and that both have said yes.
RACK stands for Risk-Aware Consensual Kink. It is built on the idea that nothing is ever completely safe, and it stresses that the parties know the risk and choose to accept it.
The difference is what each emphasises. SSC points to the activity being safe. RACK points to risk always being present, and to knowing what can go wrong. Both are used in the community because they emphasise different things, and some people prefer one, some the other.
Neither is a rule or a guarantee. They are meant as a way of thinking, with questions you can ask each other: Are we both clear-headed? Have both said yes? Do we know what can go wrong, and do we agree to take that risk? An item being selected in the contract does not mean that it is safe.
This ties in with the site. The "High risk" marking shows that something has a known risk, so that you can know and choose. For some items the note states that they cannot be made completely safe.
6. CNC and "no limits"
CNC (consensual non-consent) means that a "no" in an agreed scene is part of the play, agreed in advance. "No limits" means that you have not set fixed limits in advance. Both are choices that increase risk, because there are fewer fixed stops. That makes it especially important that both are sober, clear-headed and know the risk.
Around these choices the site does the following. For CNC the contract states that consent was given in advance, while sober, and, when withdrawal is chosen, that it can be withdrawn. For "no limits" it states that this does not relieve the Dominant of responsibility for health and safety. Choose such options only after a thorough conversation.